Warning: this is my really bourgie-emo-sob-story; sympathy can be feigned, but do pls try to play death cab while reading this post, for mood music:
I live in a pretty traditional Chinese place. It’s old, but quaint. I have blue shingles, a major selling point of the place. The repair man comes about once a week to fix the odds and ends in my house that are falling apart, i.e., leaky ceiling, electrical wires that pop out quite suddenly in the bathroom while showering, nbd. Various housing maintenance issues aside, I really don’t have too many complaints. (Blatant lie, right here.) It’s a single, which has been one of my great misanthropic dreams since moving to China. A pic of my humble adobe:
About one month ago, I was awoken at 6am by ungodly noises. It started out with what seemed like a twenty pound bag of marbles being thrown against the floor and then some yelping large animal, on the brink of death, trying to claw out of the mess. Groggy eyed and sans glasses, I looked out my window, to find myself staring at a piece of large piece of steel– or something equally alarming– hitting my window. This thing turned out to be a humongous bed, being hoisted up in the air and apparently, into my upstairs neighbor’s room. Occasionally it would bang against my rickety window and my already-precariously perched air conditioner. Too high strung to continue observing the scene, I begrudgingly got out of bed and decided to try to start the day early, carpe diem,whatever. But literally having toppled out on the very wrong side bed, I was in a really foul mood. ::shuffles itunes to next emo song and lets out long sigh::
The next day, it was the same construction soundtrack, starting at 6am. My Chinese friend had told me that it was “illegal” to start construction before 8am, so I was prepared to battle this time around. Brazenly, with the spirit of Xena the warrior princess, I marched upstairs to my neighbor’s room in my intimidating polka dotted pajamas and politely knocked on the door.
Some 50 year old, tobacco stinking Chinese dude in a wife beater creaked the door open, and asked me who the hell I was. I previously prepared a fear-inducing soliloquy about how I was going to bao jing (report) his disruptive arse for disrupting the “harmonious” environment of our peace-loving neighborhood (I suspect there is a brothel upstairs), but I ended up sputtering out something about how his construction was disturbing my sleep, and also, how you are only supposed to start construction at 8am, so please stop, heheh?
The sob story then goes: he slammed the door in my face and told me to stop annoying him and to just wake up earlier. I flipped a hissy fit, privately, in my room. Furious and enraged, I asked myself what Jason Bourne would do, which is what I ask myself in situations like these. Since explosive devices are not easily accessible in China and I can’t run away from crime scenes very fast, I did the next best thing I could, which was google “I hate my neighbor” and “how to sue someone in China.” I found others in a similar situation and also concluded that there was unfortunately very little I could do in terms of filing a lawsuit against my upstairs neighbor.
Long, whimpering story cut short: the bloody upstairs neighbor eventually finished his bloody construction, and I didn’t have to do anything drastic, like hire a hit man or something.*
Fast forward to today. Awoken by teeth-grinding, head-pounding, mind-numbing sawing and drilling. This time? The neighbor that lives next to me. Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Xena scream!! GAH! I just don’t understand why these people are even renovating; the structural integrity of this building is not sound and seriously cannot handle anymore construction. It’s probably going to be demolished and turned into a Carrefour or Russian restaurant in two years. Srsly. O God! How weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable seem to me all the uses of this world! Fie on’t! O fie!. . . ❤ tragedies and bourgie-emoness and Hamlet.
芳草地, home sweet home:
This is my bourgie whine of the day. . . I’ll focus on more important
life issues complaints when the construction fades away. . . Oh god, please let it be over soon.
* If anyone has information about this, I would greatly appreciate your help, kthx.